The Art of Living With Herpes

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Living With Herpes - Overview

My name is Kimberly, I'm one of the contributors to this website specializing in the herpes simplex virus.

I've been coping with herpes for a long time, so I know what you're going through.

I'd like to help.

It's been seven years since I first noticed the blisters, and since then I've learned all about living with herpes without losing my dignity or sanity.

I'm going to tell you what I've found out about myself, and hopefully, you'll soon be able to laugh again and hold your head up high.

If you're anything like me, your scenario probably goes something like this:

Your herpes diagnosis has just come in and your doctor tells you that you have a sexually transmitted disease.

Your partner used a condom, so you ask the doctor how you could have possibly caught the virus; he tells you that a latex barrier is only 50% effective.

You then ask him if there’s a cure and he says there isn’t; in fact, apart from undergoing anti-viral treatment treatment for a long time, you’ll simply have to learn the ins-and-outs of living with herpes.

Then you start clutching at straws. You ask him if the herpes tests could be wrong and he shakes his head.

You're horrified.

He tries to reassure you, he tells you that genital herpes is not life threatening and probably won’t cause medical problems in the future.

But that doesn’t help...

aloneYour predicament starts to sink in and you feel like throwing yourself under a bus.

There's no way to describe the feeling of loneliness and utter devastation.

Knowing that you’ll be living with herpes for the rest of your life is something you just can't face.

You feel dirty and ashamed and you’d like to get your hands on the person who gave you this horrible virus.

Early reactions like this are fully understandable and my heart goes out to you, but you have to understand that these feelings won't last forever.

Once the initial shock wears off, you've simply got to pull yourself together and face life head on.

Many sufferers engage in a relentless
Internet hunt for support, and this
is where interactive websites and
forums, such as our own Pay It Forward
section, play an important part.


Don’t jump to conclusions

Did your partner deliberately infect you? Probably not. If s/he did, then you’re fully entitled to your feelings, but…

More than likely s/he was asymptomatic and had never experienced any telltale lesions. It stands to reason; if s/he was unaware of being herpes positive, then s/he cannot be blamed for transmitting the virus.

Besides, when you decided to have sex, you knew that making love with a new partner carried certain risks, so there’s no point in feeling angry or harboring resentment.

Face up to it. You have the virus; therefore you must somehow pick up the pieces and learn the ins-and-outs of living with herpes without shame or feelings of inferiority.


What if you Caught it From Your Spouse?

The worse mistake you could make is to immediately assume that your partner has been unfaithful.

Laboratory tests prove that the virus can lie dormant in the nervous system for years and even decades before erupting for the first time.

What if you were the one who was infected without knowing it?

Besides, even if you did catch it from your spouse or partner, s/he could have contracted the virus long before you met and fell in love.


You are not Alone

Herpes statistics tell us there are at least 45 million Americans out there who have genital herpes. They laugh and cry, they fall in love, they marry and raise families, and they live normal lives.

You can do the same!

Think about this one: it’s an absolute fact that some of your close friends and family have the disease, not to mention a few of your acquaintances, colleagues or classmates.

On top of that, one out of five people out there, including pop stars, celebrities, beauty queens and politicians are living with herpes.

You’re not alone and no one’s to blame. You’re just darn unlucky that you were one of the few who went on to display those horrible symptoms.


There is no Stigma Attached to Living With Herpes

According to the Center for Disease Control, 90% of the people in the United States have herpes of one kind or another.

When all is said and done, herpes is nothing more than a very common skin disorder, and nothing to be ashamed of.

As far as your mental health and self-image are concerned, it’s absolutely essential for you to understand and accept this emotionally and not just intellectually.

I repeat: Initial self-pity is understandable, but there is no reason why it should have a lasting effect. You were simply unlucky in this crap-shoot we call life!


Speak to a Trusted Confidant

Your first priority is to unburden yourself.

Speak with someone you can trust as soon as possible. Rant and rave all you want and have a good cry if you must, but get it out of your system - and then ask him or her for a hug.

After that, you will start to make some wonderful friends when you join one of the herpes support groups. There's bound to be a live group near you as well as an abundance of online fellowships ready to welcome you with open arms.

People in the same boat are more than willing to help a fellow sufferer. Believe me, they are all eager to share their tips and experiences so that you too can discover that living with herpes is no big deal.

They will teach you all about effective herpes medications, natural cures for herpes such as adopting an alkaline diet, the road to a fulfilling love life and many, many other ways to cope on a day-to-day basis.

On top of that, you will also learn about some wonderful online herpes dating sites and friendship groups tailor made for people just like you and me.

In fact, a close friend introduced me to Dynamiclear, and it made a huge difference.

(Tip: Other friends have reported amazing results after using Herpeset). Although the disease itself was soon under control and learning how to live with herpes was one step closer, I still needed a lot of support on the psychological level.

No matter how dark the future looks right now, you will rejoin the mainstream of life and learn how to cope with herpes from one day to the next, trust me on this one!

I promise you, before you know it, you will have shed all your feelings of guilt and shame and learned how to hold your head up high.


Does Having herpes make you less Attractive?

Heck no!

So you happen to occasionally get pimples or blisters down there or develop cold sores now and then. So what? Nobody needs to know unless you choose to tell them.

You’re still the same person you’ve always been and you still have the same attractive qualities you’ve always had.

You may have a cute smile, a wonderful sense of humor or dozens of likable traits that you are unaware of. All those qualities that made people like you before you started living with herpes still exist... and they always will.


Can you Still Find Romance?


As I mentioned, there are some excellent specialized herpes dating services out there.

However, if you happen to meet a herpes free person that you share mutual romantic feelings with, don't jump the gun by rushing into the sexual aspect of your relationship.

And for goodness sake, don't blurt out your status too soon.

Be conservative. By the time the correct moment arrives, you will have done your homework and know the best way to explain all the ins and outs of living with herpes to your partner...

Including all the low-risk ways of having an exciting and fulfilling sex life.

By using the right words and a tactful approach, you’ll be surprised how easy it can be for your partner to accept you the way you are and to adjust.

And if they are unwilling to do so, smile and move on…

They've just saved you a lot of heartache, because they weren’t right for you in the first place. Thumb your nose at them. You can still find love and happiness...

It's just around the corner!

Need Help? e-mail us at: or click here.


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